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19.8.17

Safe



You're more powerful than you realize. It's safe for you to be powerful! ~Doreen Virtue
One thing that I have learned and continue to learn is that life happens to everyone - it's happening, it just is, no way around it!
No matter how beautiful they look, or dress, or what they do for a living, life happens.

Last year was tough. This year is tough as well. 
The truth is I am pregnant, and for me, pregnancy feels stagnant.
I just can't seem to find steady footing anywhere.
No longer working at my job, I feel empty and without purpose many days, and
this is while I am taking care of a fetus, and mindfully trying to parent 2 young children.
Sometimes I truly don't get it.

I don't understand why I feel as if I am not serving any real purpose
when I absolutely love being with my children, 
teaching them how to be the best little humans possible, 
and just keeping them safe - my biggest goal.

My friends have moved on, moved up and are moving with the flow of life. 
I don't know all their hardships. 
I don't know how easy or difficult it is for them to get through the days, and I have to keep reminding myself of this.
I don't know their lives truly.

I am trying to create a place for myself where I can be happy, and humble. 
Where I can honour their experiences, without comparing myself, my pain, doubts, fears.
I believe that I am alive to bring purpose to something special.
I believe that my experiences count - somewhere - anywhere.
I am still a work in progress...kind of frustrating after all this time.
But I will get there.

~ 4 comments: ~

Anonymous
at: 21 August 2017 at 15:05 said...

salam aleikoum sister, happy to discover your blog. I totally feel with you, wishing you moments of bliss in the everyday!
xxx

**Freespirit says:
at: 21 August 2017 at 16:21 said...

Wa alaikum salaam Itto...I wish the same for you and yours. The last time you were pregnant I was pregnant as well. I cannot believe this :)
Stay blessed!

Marie Kléber says:
at: 29 August 2017 at 06:39 said...

Your experience counts for me. It counted since the beginning. You are walking your path and sometimes it's a tough one. But you are moving forward every single day.
I am a work in progress too!!

**Freespirit says:
at: 2 September 2017 at 09:20 said...

Marie, I just feel sometimes we forget the bigger picture. It's not always easy to have a realistic view of the world. I am so blessed to have friends like you on this journey.
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